Power Rankings as seen by me (this message is not affiliated in any way with the commissioner, CBSSportsline, or the Expressed Written Consent of the National Football League)
Week one saw some strange happenings but here are things as I see them
1. Mudslingers - Trent was fortunate enough to have his QB and D both go completely off. As a two time champ of this league (so I have been told...many, many times) it will be interesting to see if the Slingers can keep up this kind of pace.
2. Las Almejas Barbudas - English names only please. Adrian Peterson is a freak. Please carry on.
3. sweeeeet - Baker's so-called "blind school-girl picked"team (credit-Trent) comes in at the number 3 spot for week one. It is just a team. No stars, just solid. It should be stated however that Rick could have played 4 players and beat Poop. Just sayin.
4. Burn Victims - This is my first year in the league but I have been keeping an eye on it for a while. It would seem that high point totals don't necessarily translate in to records at the end of the year. I hope this is not the start of a pattern for Troy. Hell, it could be the continuation of one for all I know, I am not going back through the league history to find out. Picked a bad week to have the slingers, thats all I know.
5. Pryor Obligations - The new guy turns in a solid performance in his first outing. Nothing spectacular and it took Vincent Jackson and Nate Keading to outperform LT in the last game of the week to get it done. The stay in the top half of the power rankings may be short lived as PrObs lost its QB and a Receiver due to them being complete pussies. One is allergic to turf and the other went back-first into the endzone. Idiots.
6. FNG - Squeaker. FNG QB - 0 Cap City QB- 23 Normally I would think this would equal a win for City but, Not so fast my friend. Turns out the rest of City's team pretty much licks and FNG got 7 points from its kicker on Monday night to seal it up. 71 points with none coming from the QB spot. You stay classy Matt Schaub.
7. Burcher's Bengals - Irony. The name of his team is ironically what prevented him from victory. Palmer and Lavernius Coles Combined for 7 points. Not the start I am sure he wanted...on several different levels.
8. Capital City - The Romo/Simpson honeymoon is over and it seems to be paying off for CapCity at the QB position. QUICK! Tell the rest of his players to split up with their significant others because they suck out loud. Cap City could be looking at the bottom third of this list for a while.
9. The Guzzlers - Er, the puzzlers. Here's one. What teams place in the power rankings is 8 positions lower than any pick he had in the draft? A win is a win is a win I guess but you would expect more from an owner who had the first pick 24 out of 18 rounds.
10. Tusky Barhoppers - Twins. You just can't separate 'em. Hey Mike, what do you say we both put a team together that pretty much sucks and see if we can get our QB to carry us through? Sounds good Shane. I'm in. Plan - F. Execution - Flawless.
12. Lover and Longnecks - (Tie) 47 and 48 points respectfully. Wow. I was going to put Ryan's team at 11 because his starters didn't get beat by his reserves but his team was equally as bad. Tom isn't going to read this anyway so I think I will save it for when I see him.
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You guys better get used to seeing me on top. You all realize you're plauing for second place.
ReplyDeleteLook the f*ck out cause the Barhoppers are pissed about these ranking. Are we allowed to swear on this sight since the God Squad (Trent and Troy) are viewing this?
ReplyDeleteIt is far better to embrace facts than to blindly dispute them. This week was based on points alone. (If not, Matt Williams would have been 12 given his draft position, and I would have been first based on, well, ego.) Show up this week and I will move you up. Have 1 person do 1/3 of your scoring and I will move you down. Hate the game, Shane. Hate the game.
ReplyDeleteOne more wise crack on the God squad and I'll stick my new bible somewhere ungodley!
ReplyDeleteThe Guru begs to differ with your rankings. Looks like the Barhoppers are scheduled to put and ass kicking on ya RC. Pryor's a bum and Troy don't go all David Koresh on us after the cult meeting at the Branch Davidian last weekend.
ReplyDeleteLOL. Faith placed blindly on those without actual experience (Forcier, Guru) is not wise. Mathematical Example - Guru said you were supposed to score 85 points last week. You ACTUALLY scored 59. This is a difference of (you can use a calculator if you want) 26 points. The Guru predicts you will win by 16. Which means I will actually win by 10. You can't argue with math. :o)
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