Game Updates heading into Monday Night

Here are the game updates heading into the Monday night matchup. Hint: It is now just me, AC, and the 72 Dolphins.

Pryor Obligations vs The Guzzlers - PO wins. The Guzzlers comeback fell a little short after a fine performance by Peyton Manning in the late game. Pryor Obligations is 3-0. Guzzlers 1-2.

FNG vs Burn Victims - This game isn't technically over but FNG is up 59 points with the Victims only having it's kicker going tonight. Two things I know, no kicker has ever scored 59 points and Troy escaped having the three worst beat downs in BBFL history. Moral Victories. FNG will be 3-0. BV will be 0-3.

* vs Clinton's Lover - Barring a huge night from his running back (needs 26 points), Baker will drop from the ranks of the unbeatens. I see * as 2-1 and CL at 2-1 after tonight.

Burcher's Bengals vs Tusky Barhoppers -Game Over. The Barhoppers claimed to have a new OC. Should have stuck with Tressel. He won 30-0 this weekend and didn't need a bogus interception call to get it done. Barhoppers 0-3. BB's 2-1.

Capital City vs Mudslingers - Game over. Cap City beats the slingers. What has happened to the mudslingers? They stand at 1-2 with a very lackluster performance in week 3. Cap City is 2-1 with what will be the 2nd lowest point total in the entire league.

Las Almejas vs Pleasant Valley Longnecks - LA needs 7 points from 2 players tonight to put the Longnecks at 0-3 and themselves at 2-1. If not, they will both be 1-2.

So the FNG/Burn Victims Game Got Me Thinking....

With Troy being down 70 points as of 9:25 pm Sunday (He was down 79 but Reggie Wayne just scored), what have the biggest beat downs been in this league since it's inception? My research led to some interesting findings.

Biggest Beat Down - Burn Victims got beat by 85. Yikes.

Second Biggest Beat Down - Burn Victims got beat by 75. Ouch

Third Biggest Beat Down - Pleasant Valley Longnecks got beat by 70.


Well, Tom, you are in danger of being bumped from this list and giving Troy a hat trick of crap. This game just took on a new level of interest to me. :o)

From Baker, since he is too good to participate in our super fun blog.

Off and running

Well were back!!! the BBFFL is starting a new year and for some it the same old same old. and others a whole new world. When’s the last time * was the overall points leader and 2-0 record? Never that’s when.. As for some around the bottom,,, well that familiar territory.. So let see what the Sports Authority thinks about all of this.

*(2-0) and Clinton’s lovers (1-1) face off this week. We can only assume that the name indicates that owner Burrier has also given Bill Clinton a blow job and has a shirt with his load on it. I think we will call him Cum Stain from here on out. So CS is struggling as usual and * is having a better year so we look for this to be a 24 point victory for *.

Pryor Obligations (2-0) & Guzzlers hook up in the last week of round one of league play. PO shocking the division coming out of the shoots firing off 2 wins, while the Guzzlers have been in 2 games that have been decided by a combined total of 7 points. They throw up 60 and win and then put up 103 and loose????? Bad karma. PO stumbles this week and drops to 2-1 which you will find out latter will put him in a 3 way tie for the division. Guzzlers by 11.

Burchers Bengals (1-1) vs. Barhoppers (0-2) There are teams doing well,,, some are on the bubble and some are just shitting down their leg. Barhoppers are one of those teams shittin’ down their leg. At no point this season had these two teams played each other would the Hoppers had won and this week is no different. BB in a beat down..

Las Almejas Barbudas (1-1) and Pleasant Valley Longnecks (0-2) .. After a heartbreaker for the Longnecks, they now have to bury their face in the bearded clams. Injuries could play a factor in this one. Look for the Necks to get on the board this week with a win. LN by 9.

Capital City (1-1) and Mudslingers (1-1) This is a defining game neither team wanting to slide to 1-2 so both will try to bring their B game.. I would say their A game but obviously they don’t have one or their record would be 2-0. Gangsters struggling to put up points while the Slingers rely on just 2 players. This will be a shot out that come down to Monday night,,, but when the smokes clears the gangsters will have wacked another foe. CC by 2

This years 1^st Game Of The Week

FNG (2-0) and Burn Victims (0-2) ---FNG puts its undefeated record on the line this weekend against the winless Victims. Yeah I know… it’s not really putting it on the line when playing BV,,, BUT the Burn Victims now have God on there side. Seem owner Troy Couts and a secret society of other owners went to a Cult like retreat to ask God to help their Football team win this year. Report from a source that ask to remain ammoniums because he is his brother said, on the last night of the retreat the group sacrificed a Brett Farve doll by putting it in a ring with two dogs and betting how long it would take to rip it’s arms off then they played prison bitch with a Plexico Burris jersey. They later tried to spiritually connect to Steve McNair but were unsuccessful. They finished by burning incenses and being alone with their thoughts. Still they lose.. FNG by 7

As Always

The Soprts Authority

How does this happen?

I'm not one to cause problems, but I was looking to make a pick up this morning and when I went to get my player, it said that he was no longer available. It appeared that the player I wanted was picked up before 9:oo AM. How does this happen? I'll tell you how, people with certain access privilages are taking avantage of their position in the league. I mean shit, why not let everyone have commissioner privileges. I have been talking to other people and this has been done before. It seems that some people would do anything to win this league. Can we some how get everyone on an even playing field? I will be expecting some answers tomorrow night at Alpa Lanes. The person who is guilty knows who they are. If I don't get an explanation and an apology I will be looking to crack some skulls. Mudslingers.

Week 2 Games Update Sun 7:45pm

Pryor Obligations vs. Tusky Barhoppers - Game Over. The Guru predicted a 16 point win for Shane but it turns out math always triumphs. Obligations by 17. 71-54.

Las Almejas vs Sweeeet - This one is all but over. If Jason Whitten can put together a 53 point night, LA could pull it off. LOL.

Pleasant Valley vs Lover - Same. Lover needs about 32 from a kicker and a tight end to get it done. Quite a bounce back for Tom this week.

Bengals vs Guzzlers - Right now Burcher has to be saying "I got 40 from Chris Johnson and a bad night from a WR tonight and the Guzzlers still have a chance." Unreal. The Guzzlers need 23 plus whatever Roy Williams does tonight. Unlikely, but possible.

FNG vs Mudslingers - This one is interesting. FNG up 30 with 1 player left. Ronnie Brown. The Mudslingers have Addai, Jacobs and Colts D. I will give the slight edge to FNG for the early lead but I suppose stranger things have happened.

Burn Victims vs Capital City - The Gangsters have a 10 point lead but the Burn Victims have three players left vs 2 for the Gangsters. I will give the edge to the Gangsters with Romo and Barber vs the Burn Victims with Reggie Wayne, Dallas Kicker and Giants D.

Shane and I in an offensive struggle.

The least offensive team will win. Wow we suck something awful. I mean, we aren't Ryan B's team or anything but still. Can the Mudslingers come back?

Early Action.

Points are FLYING up on the board so far today. Well, except for the twins.

textsfromlastnight favorite.

(443): you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up.

Too Funny Not To Post

New Feature - My Daily textsfromlastnight.com favorite

(636): So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man

I would like to dedicate this to the James Jones gang back from their pilgrimage.

www.textsfromlastnight.com

Week 1 - Power Rankings

Power Rankings as seen by me (this message is not affiliated in any way with the commissioner, CBSSportsline, or the Expressed Written Consent of the National Football League)

Week one saw some strange happenings but here are things as I see them

1. Mudslingers - Trent was fortunate enough to have his QB and D both go completely off. As a two time champ of this league (so I have been told...many, many times) it will be interesting to see if the Slingers can keep up this kind of pace.

2. Las Almejas Barbudas - English names only please. Adrian Peterson is a freak. Please carry on.

3. sweeeeet - Baker's so-called "blind school-girl picked"team (credit-Trent) comes in at the number 3 spot for week one. It is just a team. No stars, just solid. It should be stated however that Rick could have played 4 players and beat Poop. Just sayin.

4. Burn Victims - This is my first year in the league but I have been keeping an eye on it for a while. It would seem that high point totals don't necessarily translate in to records at the end of the year. I hope this is not the start of a pattern for Troy. Hell, it could be the continuation of one for all I know, I am not going back through the league history to find out. Picked a bad week to have the slingers, thats all I know.

5. Pryor Obligations - The new guy turns in a solid performance in his first outing. Nothing spectacular and it took Vincent Jackson and Nate Keading to outperform LT in the last game of the week to get it done. The stay in the top half of the power rankings may be short lived as PrObs lost its QB and a Receiver due to them being complete pussies. One is allergic to turf and the other went back-first into the endzone. Idiots.

6. FNG - Squeaker. FNG QB - 0 Cap City QB- 23 Normally I would think this would equal a win for City but, Not so fast my friend. Turns out the rest of City's team pretty much licks and FNG got 7 points from its kicker on Monday night to seal it up. 71 points with none coming from the QB spot. You stay classy Matt Schaub.

7. Burcher's Bengals - Irony. The name of his team is ironically what prevented him from victory. Palmer and Lavernius Coles Combined for 7 points. Not the start I am sure he wanted...on several different levels.

8. Capital City - The Romo/Simpson honeymoon is over and it seems to be paying off for CapCity at the QB position. QUICK! Tell the rest of his players to split up with their significant others because they suck out loud. Cap City could be looking at the bottom third of this list for a while.

9. The Guzzlers - Er, the puzzlers. Here's one. What teams place in the power rankings is 8 positions lower than any pick he had in the draft? A win is a win is a win I guess but you would expect more from an owner who had the first pick 24 out of 18 rounds.

10. Tusky Barhoppers - Twins. You just can't separate 'em. Hey Mike, what do you say we both put a team together that pretty much sucks and see if we can get our QB to carry us through? Sounds good Shane. I'm in. Plan - F. Execution - Flawless.

12. Lover and Longnecks - (Tie) 47 and 48 points respectfully. Wow. I was going to put Ryan's team at 11 because his starters didn't get beat by his reserves but his team was equally as bad. Tom isn't going to read this anyway so I think I will save it for when I see him.

Ask....And You Shall Receive

So here it is. Nobody uses the message board so I hear. Let's see if everyone uses this. Send me your email address and I will make you a poster.